This goes for me

People always say to hold on to hope so you can overpass bad moments...

Well... today the hope I had has died, everything inside me has died, and I don't see a way to recover from this, I have no hope.

So I'll just let myself drown. At the end, I'll be back on my feet, because I'll touch ground very very deep. I need no help, I want no help I just want to fall in this...


                                                              abyss.


Because I have nowhere to go, nothing to hold on to.


I am alone, as I never thought I would be, as I never realized I was. Because it has always been like this.


And I can't find a reason! an excuse! an explanation!.


             Today, I fell.

So I'll let myself go...


                                                                   keep on...

                                                                                    ... falling.

Because the sun, for me... has just gone away.


I can keep on writing, and leave my feelings here right now.

    Would it matter?
      
                 Would someone care?
                              
                                 Would that change the way I feel?


I know there's people who care for me, who give a fuck for me, but that changes nothing.




Yeah... people always say not to worry.


         People always say there will be a brighter day.


Well...  I say:

I DON'T WANT A FUCKING BRIGHTER DAY!


I'm down!, and I want to be down.. I want to enjoy being down...


                                          So let me down... yes...



                                                 Let
                                                        me
                                                      down.


I'm leaving.

I'm leaving for good, once and for all.

And I know the best way to do it...




The best way to leave is to not leave at all. And that...


                    that I'll do.


I'll let myself down and I wont try to get up, because I don't think it's worth it.
I won't try to recover from this because I don't want to.


I won't try to forget --- I won't try to forgive.




I don't want to fall trying to get up. I want to keep on falling, as I'm doing now, I want it to hurt, so soft, so hard, so brutal, so deep, I want it to hurt.

I don't want no bright light full of hope, no escape, no helping hand, no angel to rescue me.

I want to be alone, as I've always been, alone with my sorrow, alone with my pain.

                                                      Why me worry?


                                 It has always been the same.



This...



goes to nobody, yet everybody.

This... goes to those feelings I haven't felt.

For those memories I don't have.

For the people I haven't met.

For the things I have lost without having.










                                                For you.










                                                 For me.


  



                                          ... This    goes    for    me .....






Even though I'm down... I wish you a good morning,


and in case I don't see you...


                                  good afternoon, good evening, good night...




                                                      and good life.








                                     ... This    goes    for    me .....